Henry's Mirror

Thought loops, pattern blindness, and why we forget that we forget

In the 1950s, a bicycle accident left nine-year-old Henry Molaison with severe epileptic seizures. At 27, desperate for relief, he had experimental brain surgery that stopped the seizures but destroyed his ability to form new memories. For the next 55 years, Henry lived every day as if it were his first.

Every morning, he'd look in the mirror and be shocked at how old he was, his mind frozen at 27, his face aging to 82. Or at least that’s how the story goes.

After doing some digging, I learned that his primary researcher said this never actually happened. Through repeated daily exposure, Henry gradually updated his implicit sense of what he looked like, even though he couldn't form explicit memories. Still, the question the story raises is real. What would it be like to live 55 years and have almost no memory of it?

We don't have Henry's condition, but we do have a gap between our memory and reality. We have thousands of thoughts every day, but can you remember many specific ones from yesterday? How about from last week on Tuesday? I can’t either. And yet in the moment, every thought is incredibly real and important.

When I’m stuck overthinking or worrying about something, I now try to ask myself: Will I remember this thought next week? Have I worried about this exact thing before? What happened then?

The other thing this story encouraged me to do is write and journal more. This does three things:

1. It forces you to notice and process. I’ve experienced this with photography too, the act of framing up shots changes how I experience and remember moments. With writing, it’s the same. You have to actually notice what you’re thinking and feeling to put it into words, rather than letting it pass by unprocessed. The science backs this (Dr. K has a great breakdown) - when you write about something difficult, you’re processing those emotions in a safe, controlled environment. You’re not avoiding them, but you’re also not being overwhelmed by them. You’re actually dealing with it.

2. Regular practice reduces avoidance and builds agency. When I write regularly, I’m less stuck in my head and more likely to actually do things. This happens because safe processing builds tolerance to discomfort over time. The more you practice noticing and processing through writing, the less you avoid the things that make you anxious or stressed. Reduced avoidance means increased ability to face things, which means more action.

3. Long-term documentation reveals patterns. I just finished reading Sally Mann’s “Art Work”. She kept journals for decades, and going back through them she could see how her ideas evolved, which arguments mattered at the time and which didn’t. Combined with her photography archive, she could see the whole shape of her creative work over years.

When I look back at my own writing, I see the same thoughts and fears surfacing again and again. Patterns I’d never notice otherwise.

We all experience a bit of Henry’s mirror. We forget we forget. The difference is we can choose to notice - both in the moment and over time.

On the podcast

Last week’s episode was with Rick Foerster. We talked about Rick’s journey from executive to writer, why he is only loosely coupled to that new identity, why the best creative work is often work you’d pay to do, and why you may want to avoid grasping for “the next thing” if you’re navigating a career transition. Watch on YouTube or read the highlights here.

Next week: Karin Majoka, one of my favourite photographers and YouTubers, on juggling YouTube, photography, plus her day job as a psychologist and psychotherapist in training. We get into how those worlds actually connect and what it’s like managing multiple creative practices alongside serious work. Subscribe so you don’t miss it: Spotify, Apple, YouTube.

Good stuff this week

• The full history behind Henry’s case is fascinating and apparently it changed how we understand memory formation.

• Shout-out to Vinamrata Singal who is doing a very public version of creative journaling over on her Substack. I love reading these notes!

• Sally Mann’s Art Work: On the Creative Life is soooo good. An honest, touching, and practical look on what it’s like to be a professional creative and all that involves. I have so many notes that it may become a separate post.

• Speaking of the power of writing, writing is building now by Hilary Gridley knocks it out of the park.

• If you’d like a daily reminder that life’s too short, The Life Calendar wallpaper for your phone does a pretty good job!

• The Tale of the Phantom Book Group - A.J. Jacobs. Fascinating. Scams are only getting more creative with time (and with AI).

• And finally, on the gap between feeling and doing: